Wednesday Wisdom How To Keep A Low Profile

If you opened a newspaper this morning, you will have seen photos of Wayne Rooney looking sloshed at a wedding on Saturday. The England captain supposedly partied until the early hours of the morning and was struggling to string a sentence together by the end of the night.

Now, in my opinion, there's not too much wrong with Rooney getting pissed when he hasn't got a game for seven days. Unfortunately, it's too much of a good story for the media to miss when someone in the public eye is in a state.

It got me thinking; we've all been out before when we shouldn't have and then been caught on camera. I've put forward a few suggestions of how to keep a low profile when you're out, but shouldn't be.

Avoid the cameras

As Rooney found out, it's the cameras that catch you out! These days everyone has smartphones and access to social media; no sooner than you've been snapped, the photo is there for everyone to see. It must have been so much easier to get away with things years ago!

Unfortunately, there's no returning to the good old days what can you do instead? The only way round it is to avoid the camera at all costs. Picture it, you've told the Mrs that it's just a quiet one down the pub, the last thing you want is a photo of you half-cut going on Facebook!

Perhaps tell the lads at the start of the night that you can't be in any photos, or if anyone is desperate for a photo, offer to be the photographer. That should stop you having any questions to answer to in the morning!

Stay off your phone

The other problem with phones and social media is that others can see when you have been active. I've been caught out myself for appearing online on WhatsApp at 4am in the morning after saying I wasn't going out. Why else would I be awake at that time?

It's the same on Facebook and Instagram. If you start liking statuses and photos in the early hours, others can see it, not what you need when you've said'goodnight' at 10pm!

You're unlikely to stay off your phone when pissed, it just seems to happen. The best way round this is to leave your phone at home'it's more trouble than it's worth!

Don't be the most drunk

The two above are more likely to happen/go wrong when you're absolutely smashed. If you're the most drunk at a party, you're likely to have a photo taken of you passed out on the sofa!

So, the solution is to not get that drunk. That's difficult. Well, you can still drink; you just need to ensure that there is someone in a worse state than you!

Feed one of the lads with a load of shots, it's their duty as a mate! If you tell them the reason and feed them a load of free booze, surely there's not a man who would turn that down!?

Gifs via giphy.com

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Date Posted: Wednesday 16th November 2016

Author: George Crewe